Hey beautiful mama, I’m Stephanie Poole — doula, lactation consultant, bestselling author, and your personal birth-prep partner. If you’re reading this, you’re preparing for your first birth and haven’t yet started breastfeeding, but you’re serious about setting yourself up for success. You’re in the perfect place.

In this post (and the companion video) we’re talking about something EVERY first-time mom worries about tearing during birth. But here’s the twist — it’s not just about “doing Kegels” or “stretching the perineum” (though those tools have their place). The real game-changer lies in avoiding a very common mistake that most mamas make before they enter labor.

Let’s dig in.

1. What do we really mean by “tearing”?

Many mamas imagine dramatic rips and stitches but tearing ranges from tiny superficial tears to more significant ones. The good news? Many tears heal quickly and clean with minimal intervention — but the goal is to give yourself the best shot at minimizing...