Hey beautiful mama, I’m Stephanie Poole — doula, lactation consultant, bestselling author, and your personal birth-prep partner. If you’re reading this, you’re preparing for your first birth and haven’t yet started breastfeeding, but you’re serious about setting yourself up for success. You’re in the perfect place.

In this post (and the companion video) we’re talking about something EVERY first-time mom worries about tearing during birth. But here’s the twist — it’s not just about “doing Kegels” or “stretching the perineum” (though those tools have their place). The real game-changer lies in avoiding a very common mistake that most mamas make before they enter labor.

Let’s dig in.

1. What do we really mean by “tearing”?

Many mamas imagine dramatic rips and stitches but tearing ranges from tiny superficial tears to more significant ones. The good news? Many tears heal quickly and clean with minimal intervention — but the goal is to give yourself the best shot at minimizing...

by Stephanie Poole, Doula & Lactation Consultant

You made it to 40 weeks pregnant.
The finish line.
The grand finale.
The “everyone keeps texting me asking where the baby is” stage.

So if you’re wondering why you’re still pregnant…
Here’s the truth your provider may not have mentioned:

Your Baby Is NOT Late

Only 4 to 5% of babies are born on their due date.
Because guess what?
Due dates are a prediction, not a promise.

A normal full-term birth can be anywhere from 40+5 to 41+3 for first-time moms.
You are exactly where you should be.

The Secret Work Happening Inside Your Body

Even without contractions, things are happening:
• Baby’s brain + lungs finishing key development
• Cervix softening and thinning
• Hormones prepping your milk supply
• Baby positioning for birth

Your body is working overtime… quietly.

Signs Labor Is Close (Even If It Isn’t Obvious)

• Lightning crotch
• More discharge
• Bathroom marathons
• Period-like cramps
• Lower back pressure
• Sudden ...

If you’re 39 weeks pregnant, you are officially at the point where everyone is texting you, “Baby here yet?” while you’re just trying to get comfortable for more than 3 minutes at a time.

Let’s talk about what’s really happening in your body this week — the things most people skip!

Your Body Is Preparing Behind the Scenes

Even without contractions, your cervix may be:
• Softening (ripening)
• Thinning (effacing)
• Starting to open (dilating)

This is driven by hormones like relaxin, which also loosens the hips — hello pelvic pressure!

Try this:

•  Gentle birth ball movements
•  Pelvic tilts
•  Upright positions
  They can help your baby move into an ideal position for birth.

Emotional Swings Are Totally Normal

One minute: “I’m READY!”
Next minute: crying because someone ate your last snack 

That’s oxytocin rising — the hormone that triggers labor.
But stress can slow it down, so focus on calm energy.

Quick affirmation:
 “My body knows exactly what to do.”

Weird Sym...