Hey beautiful mama, I’m Stephanie Poole — doula, lactation consultant, bestselling author, and your personal birth-prep partner. If you’re reading this, you’re preparing for your first birth and haven’t yet started breastfeeding, but you’re serious about setting yourself up for success. You’re in the perfect place.

In this post (and the companion video) we’re talking about something EVERY first-time mom worries about tearing during birth. But here’s the twist — it’s not just about “doing Kegels” or “stretching the perineum” (though those tools have their place). The real game-changer lies in avoiding a very common mistake that most mamas make before they enter labor.

Let’s dig in.

1. What do we really mean by “tearing”?

Many mamas imagine dramatic rips and stitches but tearing ranges from tiny superficial tears to more significant ones. The good news? Many tears heal quickly and clean with minimal intervention — but the goal is to give yourself the best shot at minimizing...

7 Things To Do For A Smoother Birth!

Labor is one of life’s biggest moments, and preparing for it can feel overwhelming. Knowing what not to do can be just as valuable as knowing what to do. Here are seven things to avoid for a smoother, more manageable birth experience.

1. Don’t Tense Up

When labor gets intense, the body’s instinct is often to tense up. However, this tension can actually slow labor. Focus on relaxing your shoulders and jaw with each contraction, allowing your body to open up and progress naturally.

2. Don’t Stay in One Position

Staying in one position may seem comforting, but movement can help labor progress and your baby get into the optimal position. Small movements like swaying, walking, or using a birthing ball make a big difference.

3. Don’t Focus on the Clock

Watching the clock can make time drag, increasing stress. Labor progresses at its own pace, so focus on each contraction rather than obsessing over timing.

4. Don’t Fight the Contraction...